Wednesday, October 10, 2007

My Fantasy Football Team Sucks

After a quasi-respectable fourth place showing in Rich's fantasy baseball league, I joined one of those random Yahoo! fantasy football leagues, since I didn't get enough interest in my league (boo). I usually do okay in fantasy football, finishing in the middle of the pack, but this year is different. Just not in the way I expected.

If you went into your season with Marc Bulger, Reggie Bush, Travis Henry, Calvin Johnson, and the Baltimore defense in your starting lineup with Marion "Lil Tiki" Barber and the Sex Cannon on your bench, you'd feel pretty good, right? Well let's see how that's worked out for us, so far:

Yup, that's right. Ninth. If the season ended today, I wouldn't even make the consolation playoffs. See, making the playoffs in a Yahoo! league is sort of like making the playoffs in the old NHL. Actually, think Original Six NHL. You have to try to not make the playoffs, and my guys are doing a pretty good job trying to not succeed. I give them an A for effort. What's going wrong?

Marc Bulger - Fractured Ribs/Lack of Offensive Line
Reggie Bush - Sophomore Slump/Plays for Crappy Team
Travis Henry - Looming Drug Suspension
Baltimore Defense - Old/Ineffective
Sex Cannon - Benched

I dropped the Sex Cannon. How sad is that? Sexy Rexy doesn't even merit a spot on my bench, replaced by Chad Pennington and Trent Green (who suffered a career threatening grade three concussion after I picked him up). I dropped Rex Grossman for a Vianney alum. Pitiful.

And to add insult to injury, Susie's in first place in her Powderpuff Fantasy League.


Dan said...

Yay, concussion-prone Vianney alum!

Also, how did Rex Grossman get the nickname Sex Cannon?

bcnjake said...

Steve Spurrier called Rex "Sexy Rexy" while they were both at Florida. Kissing Suzy Kolber sort of took it from there. If you haven't followed the links yet, they're hillarious.

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