The Annotated James Dobson

Today, Dr. James Dobson, head of Focus on the Family, a right-wing evangelical soapbox, came down hard on John McCain. (Or, as our good friend Lou "so-called Latino vote" Dobbs calls him, Juan McCain. Oh! He's so clever! Asshat. /tangent) Anyway, Dr. Dobson thinks that Senator McCain has a host of problems and that he'll destroy the Republican party or something. So, in the interest of fairness, I give you the annotated statement (my comments in parentheses).

Oh and sorry if this gets a little colorful. These people really grind my gears.


FROM DR. JAMES DOBSON AS RELEASED ON THE LAURA INGRAHAM SHOW

I'm deeply disappointed the Republican Party seems poised to select a nominee who did not support a Constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage, (Protect from what? It's a civil rights issue, and I don't care if you think God told you it's bad. Separation of Church and State, so piss off!) who voted for embryonic stem cell research to kill nascent human beings, (God forbid we help the people that are actually... I don't know... people.) who opposed tax cuts that ended the marriage penalty, (Huh? There's a penalty? Is that why all the gay people want to get married? Is that why everyone files "married but filing singly"?) and who has little regard for freedom of speech, (By telling you to keep your religion out of the town square? See annotation #1) who organized the Gang of 14 to preserve filibusters, (Filibusters are an important Senatorial procedure for the minority party, regardless of who is in the minority) and has a legendary temper and often uses foul and obscene language. (He was in the Navy. Not excusing, just explaining.)

I am convinced Sen. McCain is not a conservative, (Cool.) and in fact, has gone out of his way to stick his thumb in the eyes of those who are. (Cooler.) He has at times sounded more like a member of the other party. McCain actually considered leaving the GOP in 2001, and approached John Kerry about being Kerry's running mate in 2004. (Because we all know that Bipartisanship SUCKS! Wait...) McCain also said publicly that Hillary Clinton would make a good president. (Gasp!) Given these and many other concerns, a spoonful of sugar does not make the medicine go down. (In the most delightful way.) I cannot, and I will not vote for Sen. John McCain, as a matter of conscience. (And America thanks you.)

But what a sad and melancholy decision this is for me and many other conservatives. Should John McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for president in my lifetime. (Even though you voted Nixon twice) I certainly can't vote for Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama based on their virulently anti-family policy positions. (Read: one is a woman and the other is black.) If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for president for the first time in my life. (I knew you voted for Nixon!) These decisions are my personal views and do not represent the organization with which I'm affiliated. (I'm just sayin', you know? Wink.) They do reflect, however, my deeply held convictions about the institution of the family, (antiquated) about moral and spiritual beliefs, (bankrupt) and about the welfare of our country. (In the shitter since you people became a major voting bloc.)