Friday, February 1, 2008


And then there were two. Quite the debate last night at the Kodak Theatre, and quite the star-studded event, too. I guess the writers strike left the celebs with a little time on their hands. I think Obama acquitted himself quite well and had plenty of policy to back up his soaring rhetoric.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. Since that the field is down to two, each candidate is rolling in new endorsements. Now that we seem to have exhausted our supply of Kennedys, each campaign racked up an endorsement that can only be described as... WTF?

[Cut to a sold out Madison Square Garden. A ring sits in the center of the arena. Standing in the ring, a tuxedoed Howard Finkel grabs the mike.]

FINKEL: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for 22 falls, unless they do not produce a clear winner. In that event, we will have a rematch at PRIMARY OF DEATH next month in Ohio and Texas!

Fighting out of the Blue Corner, representing Barack Obama, he is a Real American Hero who wants you to take your vitamins, say your prayers, and believe in yourself. He is...

The Immortal HULK HOGAN!!

And fighting out of the Red Corner, representing Hillary Clinton,* she is the Duchess of Darkness, the Spawn of Satan, the Invader of Countries, Killer of Leaders, and Converter to Christianity...



Now be honest. Who saw those coming?

* About 45 seconds into the video, we get gems like, "Yes, I'll vote for her," "I'll campaign for her if it's McCain," and "I was touched when she cried." Whoa! Even more reason to hope for Obama v. McCain. The Republicans know they'll get owned.

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